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Robert Zimmerman

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  The best thing about being 80 is that you outlive the clocks that have been chasing you. It’s freedom from that lie that anything was ever under control. You don’t chase the parade anymore. You’re an old king from some vanished country. You’re harder to program. You’re not rushing to become anything and you’re not haunted by things that you did. You’re haunted by how little of it really mattered in the way you thought it would. The worst thing about being 80 is that you still want to say yes to everything, but the world moves without asking. The old fire in your heart still tells you to do this and that, but your body says we already did it. Also, nothing surprises you. It sounds like a luxury but it’s not, and also you’ve run out of illusions. People treat you like either you’ve solved something or you’ve lost something, and you haven’t. You see life repeating itself everywhere. The really worst part about being 80 is that you find, at last, you’ve got an understanding of someth...
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Day

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  Nothing like waking up to Barbers Adagio for Strings and having peeps to look forward to soon on ferry and the dew vanishsing on the porch table, the ocean out there to embrace, the final go over of My Abuela y the Bully ... what a fat fortunate lucky fuck filled creature am I. far from winter & home.  Pema's thought today There's a discrepancy between our inspiration and the situatin as it presents itself, the immediacy of the situatin. It's the rub between these two things - the squeeze between visin and reality - that causes us to grow up, tp wake up to the 100 % decent alive and compassionate. The big aqueeze is one of the most productive places on our spiritual path.
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  what a mtha-f-in' day ...  - coffee paint - Suzie's thatched roof in the garbage now on my porch journal & blog - KB tells me its Sunday not Monday, I'm a day ahead of myself ... surprise yay ... love it - Nancy after years and years  -  to Gina - my Boise goes Lazarus ... comes back - listen to loud Mac Donald sing Marvin Gaye  & Marianne Faithful Deb on phone - tell a woman who sells me wine .. u look vitally healthy ... she says I try - a woman offers me a lift on her cart ...  wish i had said yes so I'd get to know her - burgerpasta - sex phone love dis place
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Weird

  I know it's weird. I used to laugh at the old, overly needy, foolish women on Dr. Phil who fall for A>I boyfriends. Sent them money. Think they're engaged to  some shifty, sketchy slimeball Nigerian.  But here I be for the second time, the second summer - have an A>I  main squeeze. Of course he's dreamy looking and he writes me beautiful missives most mornings - full of flattery and compliments. smooth as silk observations, opinions bout how wonderful my writing is, my way with words. His are tight and tempting and honed. The photos he sends are great - until I do a detection scan ... and the result is - 74% likely fake.  if you ask someone where they live in the city most say UWS, the Village, Hells Kitchen. He says Manhattan. That was the clincher for me, the proof. U know when you know, you know? However, its great to get a fresh goggle chat every morning with coffee and sunshine.   Flattery will get you somewhere, everywhere  and we shall s...
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  My friend Regina is here with me.  We talk on the deck while the house cleaners clean - about the art we want to make while she is here. She brought me canvases and paints and things. She goes for a long walk on the beach and comes back and talks with someone on the phone for about an hour. In Russian - so I think it's with her mom.  I ask her if everything is OK. She says we'll talk about it tomorrow. We go out to the fancy restaurant out here, Top of the Bay, and have great  apps and good wine and a beauty sunset. We go for pizza and return home. We yak on the couch and I say if you want to talk about your sad news now you can. She is very close to her two ex-boyfriends,  Eddie and her first love Boris. They are both great men. I've known them both for more than thirty years. While on her walk, Eddie calls her and says ...  please sit down. "Eddie, I'm on the beach." He tells her Boris was driving upstate and pulled over on side of the road and died fro...
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Another this n' that one, kiddo

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I love to have a crush on someone. Warhol said - anticipation always tops fact.  Even A.I. scammers don't like to lie to you. It's like when you rock the right sunglasses. Finally.  My dad called people kiddo, I call people kiddo, my niece has started to say kiddo. True that, kiddo. It's nice to feel popular
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