UMBRELLA
A man in his forties bangs on the knocker of a brownstone. A woman with a flat affect opens the door. Bill Hello, Diane. Diane He’ll be down in a minute. Bill What’s he doing? Diane He’s learning to tie his shoe. Bill He’s advanced. His bilateral integration is off the charts. Despite herself, she releases a constrained giggle. Bill contd What? Diane Nothing, Nothing. Bill It’s true. Diane I guess it’s true then. Bill It is. ( pause ) I like your new haircut. Diane Yeah. Sure. Right. Bill Oh, come on now, D. Be nice. It’s easier than you think. Diane I’m going to the kitchen. He’ll be right down. She slams the door. He knocks again. She opens the door. Bill Why do you have to be so goddamn horrid? Diane Because I want to be. Because I ...