one thing today

  Sometimes I think I’d truly know who my mother was if I had true answers to certain questions. W e had a Christmas manger set - Mary, Joseph, Baby Jesus, the three kings bearing gifts. They were small and black and worn with chipped gold leaf. One holiday, I came home from college - no manger people. I asked my mother what happened to them.  “I threw them away.”  

  ... after Gender Affirming Surgery

  ... who is gonna play rama rama bow bama banana rama bow bama  on Saturday Nite Live.  cowboy up, everybody

Well its true that when it come to romantic attachment, I guess I’m qualitatively lacking but when it comes to gangs … horn o’ plenty.   Childhood gang … Eddie and Nancy and suzette and Kev and jess Grammar school high school … Amanda and pat and Paul and  Dave and two toms and another Paul and Mary   College gang … oh all the boys and Paula and pat and Betsey pigtails and Frans   City gang … spiros and Carole Manny don lynda and jay and Sak bill Perry   Work friends … tom and bob m and Kristen and Jamilli   Bad boy bar friends … Charlie and gene and Steve and Frank and    Act up … Jim and bill and Leslie and  Jay and  Massage gang … gina and tom and Maggie and Beth and   Fringe friends … noni and Wallace and Mindy and Nia wow.   Miss gang life.  

... of Olivia Laings stunning book.  Loneliness is personal, it is also political. Loneliness is a collective; it is a city. As to know how to inhabit it, there are no rules nor is there any need to feel shame, only to remember that the pursuit of individual happiness does not trump or excuse our obligations to each other. We are in this together, this accumulation of scars, this world of objects, this physical and temporary heaven that so often takes on the countenance of hell. What matters is kindness; what matters is solidarity. What matters is staying alert, staying open, because if we know anything from what has gone before us, it is that the time for feeling will not last.  

Hung with several of my tribe this evening - the first time the five of us got together in a very long time.  Time moves faster than it did when we were younger. So much to say I'm gonna say maybe later, maybe not. 

Lately I’ve been obsessed with Matt TV , a site on Youtube that’s mostly focused on people defending kids on the street who are approached by a sketchy characters.   I think it’s because I need to still believe there are heroes in the world, on the street, doing the instinctive right thing.   Protecting children among other stuff. They are powerful moments.  

  ... is the official dictionary.com  word of the day.   friendly or appearing to be friendly in a very intimate or hearty way . It makes me remember when I pretended my bike was a palamino  and I hoped one of my pals wouldn't go off with some other kid who was acting palsey walsey and leave me flat.   

My niece Summer Reign really has a way about her. I scrolled thru my photos and came upon a message she left me in my guest book a few Junes ago at the beach. She was five at the time and left the most ingenious note of anyone.   She wanted to leave me a feather but didn’t have any Scotch tape and as she picked at a bandage on her arm … she thought … hmmmm.    

my oldest friend Pat gave me the original LIFE magazine Woodstock special edition for my birthday.  we went but didn't dance. it's a long story. but fifty four years later - it's a pretty good gift. everyone looks so young and dirty and strung out and not particularly comfortable. except for the young part - I'm better off today - a half century plus later ...  cleaner and not strung out and way more comfortable than I was back then. who knew?

omg ... a fire isle oceanfront golden oldie old school beach shack ... as stone soul row-man-tick fun-key as Liz Taylors Big Sur one in The Sandpiper.  makes me wonder how much it costs to winterize a place ...  if I should ask someone I know with $$$ if he wants to marry me ... if robbing a hedge fund house is really such a big whoop bad thing  ... hmmmm ... Cinderella bouncy baby bluebirds bee bop round my head.

Two thirtysomething guys sit next to me in a coffee shop. One of them places his hand on the others knee.   Do you watch Drag Race? Sometimes.   Last year the super pale redhead winner kept eyeballing me during her show in Key West.   Oh yeah? Afterwards at the meet and greet she came up to me … oh you’re the very tall and exceedingly handsome man I flirted with all through my act.   How bout that. Yeah.   I know.   I’m pretty hot. Say, if you had to label me an herb …   An herb?   If I was an herb - what do you think I’d be? We only met twenty minutes ago. I know ... but just give it a go.   Speaking of … I'm gonna shove off.  

falling feels like flying at first

Am watching Girls, Girls, Girls … Elvis ’62. girls  from Tahiti   girls  from Samoa   girls wearing skirts made of grass girls  Brazilian beauties girls Castilian cuties   girls  si si si yes yes yes.   What really amazes is how much more amazing he looks in dark clothes. A deep purple suit below his Superman black Waterman ink hair …   damn.   H is kingdom come.  

  Take the time to stop and imagine more fully the things you already know.   Partick Bringley