one thing today

Its hard to believe a book about freed slaves owning slaves isn't uniquely fascinating. The Known World was voted the best novel of the 21st Century.  I read three quarters of it and put it down. Too many characters too ill defined. Confusing. Some beautiful sentences, poetry in motion across the page, but ultimately not enough.  I am a much better reader than I used to be. Know what attracts me, know what strikes true chords. Clean, clear, gripping story. Vivid characters. Simple. Hard.

  ... going to a different neighborhood, my fellow jurors, the judge, witnesses, victims, DA, prosecutors ... the whole kit and ...  my dreams have been so operatic and wacky, gargoyley and wet ... it's funny as my slow go with people sustains and at some point moves along and I enjoy them more and show it and probably them me.  we walk thru a smaller courtroom when we exit our meeting room ... I say this seems cozier than ours and the guy with the long hair down to his waist and shaved sides say it's for cozier crimes . and i answer like stolen knitting needles .  there's a court officer we're all fixated on who defines deep, slack frown when she's not sleeping standing up.  the young kids are very quiet and write a lot of notes. it moves me - how seriously they process the deal.  made in the USA.

Was changing my sheets this morning and had a flashback. One of my pillows was covered with an undershirt.   Ran out of  pillow cases l ast week so I improvised. Made me remember when my mom had us grab one of my dads ts when we didn’t have clean pajamas.   I liked wearing them. Did it make me feel closer to him? Was it more comfortable? Did it look like an olden days nightshirt? It felt good but I’m not sure why.  

I'm a juror on a criminal trial downtown. It's hard not to be moved by the muscularity of the area, the hard, sharp geometric majesty of the buildings that reflects what transpires inside the old, fat walls. It feels  big and important. Like Superman's Metropolis ... where a never ending battle for truth, justice and the American way is 50s corny and difficult and potent and a lot of other things. I gotta admit ...  it gets me good.  

...  still hot.  Biden still isn't giving up. He referred to his Vice President Trump last night.  Summer seems slow right now.  I'm having lunch with friends tomorrow who I haven't seen in fifteen years.  My dreams are full of the same friends and family again and again.  Was it Lennon or Bono who sang "life goes on within and without you?"

  Lynda and I went to the new LBGTQ museum for lack of a better word. It's cool but there's vast room for expansion. I talked to Em (they/them - I thought I almost called her she, Lynda says I did). .. told her I walked these streets for 50 years and I have 14 journals plus to prove it. I think they need to focus on memoirs ... would be willing to help curate. If they would be interested, I'd leave them my gay pride show from '95,  my Keepsakes series and millions of words - 16 sketch books full and a doc that's currently 721 pages.  It'a a plan. We shall c. 

MOMA is one of the few perfect city places. Peerless art, beautiful young Japanese people with beautiful dark Japanese hair and beautiful glabrous Japanese skin and cool clothes.   They have a huge Joan Jonas show - one of the first downtown performance artists - pre Laurie Andersen - which is more than pretty pre. The pooch here is hers. She loves him dearly. Once when Bob M and I went to her loft to tape her for thirteen sometime in the 80s … three seconds after I entered her place … I accidentally brushed up against a standing blackboard that contained a drawing of her 4 legged mutt lover. Close call.   I walked home thru sundowning Times Square and marveled at the angles and humankind hum buzzing with everything going full blast environment. Later that night, tears came when I recalled opening a store door for a very brave woman in a wheelchair - imagining her trials and the courage required to overcome them and all the people that do the same.

... had some work done.