the powerful pulsing of love in the vein

 



5:20 am on Tuesday the 27th … the colors are so dramatic outside - not light, not dark … like elegant, expensive paint. It makes me glad I didn’t go back to bed and tempts me to wake my guests … but no.  Let them be. It really doesn’t look like rain as they predict. 


Molly and Phillip here.  With good news. Their latest doc is gonna be an American Masters. We had pasta and peas and went swimming in a hurly swirly ocean green, warm and rough and ready to gobble us up like gumdrops. It made me feel both young and old. I told M floating and only seeing sky makes me feel not sure of what form/container I have lived within all these years. Molly and I being so happy in the roiling ocean hit my pounding heart.


After dinner, we talked about this and that and fathers and somehow it came down to Jessie. P asked where is she now. I tell him she died and then broke down crying. I thought of Paul Simons lyric - the powerful of pulsing of love in the vein. I missed her so much in that stark, gotta-face-it  moment. I felt like P might have felt like he caused it … and I said it’s the vino, Phillip, its the vino, it’s happened before, don’t feel bad. Molly got up and hugged me and a minute later I asked them to tell me a joke like I was a ten year who needed a laugh.  


The powerful pulsing of love in the vein … eleven years after my sweet sister left. 




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