Omg …

Friday the 20th … 5:33 morning … one more week. I will make it a good one, a great one.  It’s nice to have someone ask you if you’ve had breakfast, how you slept, asking for names, asking lots of questions I’d never think to ask. Been a minute as they say - those people known as they. 

silence. nice. The light at this way early time is so scumptuous - everything definite … nothing mushy or shy … soft. Like the lively air. 

I am reading Women in Love and I missed the movie on TCM round midnight a night or two ago.  The writing knocks me out. 

In the back yards of several dwellings a miner could be seen washing himself in the open on this hot evening, naked down to the loins. His great trousers of moleskin slipping almost away. Miners already cleaned were sitting on their heels, with their back near the walls, talking and silent in pure physical well-being, tired and taking rest. Their voices sounded out with strong intonation and the broad dialect was curiously caressing to the blood. It seemed to envelop Gudrun in a labourer’s caress, there was in the whole atmosphere, a resonance of physical men, a glamorous thickness of labour and maleness, surcharged in the air. But it was universal in the district, and therefore unnoticed by the inhabitants.  They sounded like strange machines, heavy, oiled.  

I hate when I think I have sunglasses on so it’s ok to stare and look at wrong places and things … and it happened again today and its now really how you want to come across, liking what you do, presenting well. They like your representative 

Hot Pop has a beautiful body, one maybe like I could have had at his age if I had … o here comes that word … if I have applied myself to getting/having a bigger healthy, semi- OK muscled carcass. But no. It never dawned on me. Not once. And he’s doing it wrong. No tattoos no tattoos. Blank page skin is the way to go.  Like that thing - you can never be overdressed -  which in fact is not true. 

Threee black kids. A husband. A home. work. School . Zillions of things. I wonder what it feels like to be that entrenched in an entrenched life … when you’re in your twenties. I would be very surprised if he was thirty. Husband a tells me his husband Eric fishes every morning for bluefish and they all eat them. The kids love fish. Don’t most kids hate fish? 

While I was taking an outdoor shower right now, I hear Rachel singing with her new found-in-the garbage pink microphone. Whitney and Chaka Kahn.