I've had my fair share ...

 

of fairly unusual boyfriends. As Lily Tomlin's Earnestine said of her AT&T customers … from kings and queens to the scum of the earth. 

For instance … Joe Alfredo … circa early 80s. long dark greasy hair, leather vest, super scruffy with odd necklaces, prone to wearing silk stockings under his biker jeans once in a blue moon. I asked him once why he dressed like a Hells Angel  ... cause no one fucks with you when you do. My sister Jessies said ... he's got a point. He lived in his parents basement in Brooklyn and spent most of his time reading the Old Testament and listening to Jim Morrison preach on about breaking on thru to the other side. He would clomp into my shoebox apartment in the Village, raise his arms wide and pronounce  … why do I feel like I’m home. He once saw me write out a check and asked how I learned how to do that. In soft light, his skin was alabaster.