Today

8:43 am the 23rd Monday listening to Ockenhem. Never have before. 

Sometimes I think the quality of the morning coffee predicts what kind of weather will accompany the day. 

I think of my troubled nephew in  the Garden State and wish him only comfort and true peace of mind - which ignites my remembering my sister telling me that Liz - when small - told her … Aunt Regina, I live in New Jersey. It’s called the Garden State. O if only that were true. 

I meet Peggy and her cocker spaniel on the beach. I just came out of the water. Dark seal smooth power waves. 

Peggy: I saw your shorts and hat on the sand before I saw you out there and I wondered…

Me … You wondered if  someone took  the deep dive and signed off .

Peggy : Was it warm? 

Me: Yeah. But it's rough. I didn’t go out so far. 

P … Thats a good thing.  

Me … You live here in the Grove?

P … Yes. My husband and I bought a house here sight unseen eight years ago. He worked in London at the time and would fly here on weekends. 

Me … He must really like you or the beach. Or both. 

P … Its the beach 

Joy comes from not giving up on ourselves, from mindfully sticking with ourselves and beginning to experience our great warrior spirit. 

Pema Chodron

Cleaned pot and rolled one. Listened to Laura singing Timer and gonna go to the sand. 

Uptown

Goin down

Ole life line

Walkin down faster

Walkin with the master of Time

My lady woke up

And she broke down

She got up

She let go

Take me Timer

Shake me Timer

Timer let it blow

Let it blow

Oh I belong to Timer

He changed my face

You're a fine one Timer

You've got me walkin'

Through the gates of space

I keep rememberin'

Indoors that I used to walk through

Baby I'm not tryin' to talk you down

But I could walk through them doors

Onto a pleasure ground

It was sweet and funny

A pleasure ground

Didn't know about money

Didn't know about Timer

Did not know about Timer

Holdin' to my cradle at the start

But now my hand is open

And now my hand is ready

For my heart

So let the wind blow Timer

I like her song

And if the song goes minor

I won't mind

And Timer knows the lady's gonna love again

Time says the lady rambles never more

If you love me true

I'll spend my life with you

And Timer

You're a jigsaw Timer

God is a jigsaw

Soulin' with

Soulin' with Timer

OMG. How much do I love Spotify. Am listening to Janis Ians’ first record - ’67 - was 17 - blew my mind. Jessie sat in the backseat of the car on the way to Suzannes wedding … singing Hair of Spun Gold - with feeling ... 

And now I'm 21

Now I feel my life's over and done

Mom upfront tried to pinch her without driver dad noticing. 

I watched an American Masters bout Janis Ian last night … she had/has a vivid life. A better voice than I remember. She can do a lot of stuff with it. And her lyrics … honed.  When I wasn’t yet out of high school … her Younger Generations Blues slayed me six feet under. See if you agree.  Pretend you're 17.

I was sittin' on the corner, I was smokin' on the sly when

Along came a grownup from the grownup FBI

Saying "This ain't Marlboro country hon'

Where'd you cop those cigarettes? You know you're too young!"

Then up stepped three more governmental nuts

Who'd been laying in the gutter, disguised as cigarette butts

Called for the sergeant, he rolled up in a hearse

And he called me a lousy, no good, juvenile pervert

He gave me a lecture on cancer of the lung

Said, "Anyone who smokes is a low-down, dirty bum

Don't let me catch you smokin' around again", he said

And then he took another drag of his cigarette

If you think I'm hating grownups, you got me all wrong

Very nice people when they stay where they belong

But we're the younger generation

And your rules are giving me fixations

I've got this younger generation

Regurgitation blues

I was going down the corner, I was going against the light

It just turned green and up came some guy

Said, "Don't you know that's a federal offence?

Seems like kids your age just ain't got no sense!

And don't you know you're risking juvenile arrest?

Committing suicide is punishable by death!"

If you think I'm hating grownups, you've got me all wrong

Very nice people when they stay where they belong

But we're the younger generation

And your rules are giving me fixations

I've got this younger generation

Regurgitation blues

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I love kate and anna mc g

I bid farewell to the state of ol' New York
My home away from home
In the state of New York I came of age
When first I started roaming
And the trees grow high in New York state
And they shine like gold in Autumn
Never had the blues from whence I came
But in New York state I caught 'em

Talk to me of Mendocino
Closing my eyes I hear the sea
Must I wait, must I follow?
Won't you say "Come with me?"

And it's on to Southbend, Indiana
Flat out on the western plain
Rise up over the Rockies and down on into California
Out to where but the rocks remain

And let the sun set on the ocean
I will watch it from the shore
Let the sun rise over the redwoods
I'll rise with it till I rise no more

Talk to me of Mendocino
closing my eyes, I hear the sea
Must I wait, must I follow?
Won't you say "Come with me?"